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  • Writer's pictureEric Fisher

The one experience that makes us stop

A lizard on top of a stop sign out in the desert.

I spoke with a friend the same day I was writing this blog post. We were at a gathering at someone's house and started speaking about how quickly our lives were going. With technology, our lives are spinning on all cylinders without the slightest hint of slowing down.

There was once a time when we weren't plugged into the internet all the time. I remember when getting on the Internet was a step-by-step process. Time was set aside for Internet use. Dial-up is now a thing of the past for most of us. With wireless internet, we can practically be plugged in all day long. Children grow up being connected wirelessly to the internet throughout the day. When you think about the times we live in technologically, it's mind-boggling.

We live in a world with many modes of transportation, both private and public. We can deliver fast food and groceries to our doors within 30 minutes. Chat GPT has opened Pandora's box on content compilation and presentation. We receive so many things quickly that nothing will slow us down. Yet, during my conversation with my friend, he gave me one thing that does stop us in our tracks at certain points.


The loss of someone or something.

When we experience grief, it brings our fast-forwarding life's videotape to a sudden pause. Shock occurs. Life ceases to progress as it has been with its fast-paced course. We are in a place of pause. Life, in a way, does stop.

This is not a bad thing. This is grief.

We could even say a gift of grief is in the stopping. Stopping long enough to begin the process of feeling what we need to feel with the loss. Allowing ourselves time to reflect. To ponder. To begin to digest what has transpired. Without at least slowing down, it is hard to give us the space to observe and participate fully in the grieving.

Life halting, then, is not a danger sign.

However, if you feel stuck in life without any movement after an extended time period, you may want to examine the situation on a mental, emotional, and spiritual level. Have meaning and purpose been impacted? What feelings are present since I'm having a hard time moving on with the grieving process? What thoughts are running through my head?

Life will stop when a major loss happens. Although not bad, the experience will bring up tense and uncomfortable feelings, thoughts, and sensations. The grief and the experience of observing as if life has stopped is a part of your life's journey.

Acknowledge it. Welcome it. Learn from it. Connect with others about the experience.

Grief is one thing in life that makes us stop. Entertain the possibility that this is ok. Just because you stop with grief doesn't mean you don't stop living. Even though a loved one may have died, you will continue to live amidst the stoppage. Feel what you need to feel. Take rest. Seek support.

Be gentle with yourself as you walk the road you are on.

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